Is Anyone Else Tired of This?

If you are not a sports fan, please go read some other crappy blog.

No welcome post. Let's get right to it. ESPN is horrible. Ever since ABC bought the Ultimate Sports Network (go on, have a look), the personalities have become caricatures of typical sports stereotypes. I won't even get into the whole ethnic issue, but we can all agree that these employees are told to stick to the colored type on the monitor, shuffle when whipped, and talk about their mama's lasagna on cue. I'm shocked they don't have a submisive sexy asian anchor and a French guy with a beret and a wet spot on his fly.

It's even worse than that, though. Try getting anything but a cliche or some quote ripped from some local newspaper from these shills. Look. Play the highlights you fat fuck and tell me who won the game. I don't care if you sound like Curly, Shemp or a white Spike Lee impersonator, just let me see what the fuck happened and keep your bone headed opinion to yourself.

Oh, and please stop calling these network rejects 'analysts' because they can read a teleprompter and spew out hack job sports lingo with no substance. If I want to listen to someone break a game down, I'll call my fucking Dad. He can tell you what pitch Bob Stanley threw in 1983 in the third with three men on, two outs at the end of a day night double header in June and why the whole fucking game went to hell because the fucking guy never should have been brought in in a high pressure situation when the fans already wanted to kill him and his family very slowly in front of the rest of the team to set an example.

Maybe Stanley wasn't on the team at that point. I don't know. But if he was, Dad would know and I'd ask him about it.

And the newspapers. They make shit up these days.

The websites have the same 8 stories for five days, twenty four hours a day.

The radio has fat guys that failed in television or broadcasting games who shout at callers no matter what the conversation is and all I want is some freaking sports!

So, in order to combat this nonsense, a few of the guys and me are going to write some sports stuff for you to ponder. We will try and leave our Boston Hats off and give you unbaised opinions, like the fact that LeBron James is the most talented disappointment in the NBA since Ralph Sampson (but maybe it's not his fault entirely because he was playing with Wally Kzrbyaaak), or like the fact that when we used to chant 'Yankees Suck' it was due to insecurity, but now it's actually true, but you can't blame us if we get a little supportive of our home teams because no matter how good they get, the rest of you nimrods in the United States will always think Wilt Chamberlain was better than Bill Russel and NO we are NOT going to let it slide, get it?

So, okay. First item up for pondering is why all od ESPN's experts pick the Lakers to beat the Celtics in the NBA Finals?

1. Hating Boston Teams = Good Ratings
2. No one there can do simple math like Kobe + Odom + Gasol Bill Simmons please? Here's a Boston turncoat to trump Benedict Arnold. Just read a part of this and then this.

Bill, you fucking fake assed LA sellout. This is enough to make me wish Whitey Bulger would come back to town for a week and come eat dinner with your family in that crappy 3 bedroom shack you paid $590,000 for in the 'other part' of Los Angeles. You're not a sports writer. Your not a sports fan. You're a fucking clown and a sellout and have less talent than Buddy Thomas from the New Bedford Standard Times. There's a reason you headline 'Page Two' of ESPN's website, which is the trash pile for rejected articles from their magazine, which I hear is going under soon.

So, anyways. I hope most of you sports fans will join us here at the Unpaid Sports Writers Blog for more unbaised reporting headed insight.