Unpaid Sports Guys

Jerry Jones = Crazy Man

2009-02-22T12:20:00.001-08:00

I'm convinced that the only thing separating Jerry Jones from being one of those crazy, homeless panhandlers who wines about the government taking everything from him is the fact that Jerry Jones is wealthy. Very wealthy. That doesn't lessen his total insanity, though. To-wit: None of his coaches are allowed to speak with the media during the offseason, not even head coach Wade Phillips. The only person allowed to speak is Jones himself (and, I guess, his players). I can understand assistants not being allowed to talk to the media (Parcells and Belicheat have similar rules), but not allowing your head coach to speak to the media? Crazy much?
There was a lot of talk this season about how Phillips lost control of the locker room. There was a lot of talk about how the players stopped respecting Romo over his bromance with Jason Whitten. We saw what happened to the Cowboys. To say they fell apart doesn't begin to tell the story. So, Jerry, explain to me how it is that the team will respect their head coach, how will he be able to regain control of the locker room, if he isn't even allowed to speak to the media? Isn't it more likely that the players, when they have a problem, will say to themselves, "This chump ain't the boss, I ain't going to listen to him. I'll go talk to Jerry, he's the boss." And, you know what, they'd be right.
If I were Wade Phillips, I'd tell Jerry where he could stick it and bolt. But, as you can imagine, Wade didn't lose control of the locker room because he took charge and stood up for himself. The team didn't fall apart because Wade made it clear what was expected of the players. This ought to be a fun year in Dallas, to say the least.

Peter Gammons Was Awful

2009-02-10T17:40:00.000-08:00

I took the time to watch the full Peter Gammons interview. All I can say is that he would make a terrible lawyer. Ever hear of a follow-up question, Peter? Christ, it was awful. Just watch.

When Peter asks the steroids timeline, A-Rod says "Pretty accurate." Well, did you use steroids for a longer or shorter period? When Peter asks what substances, A-Rod says he had no idea. And Peter doesn't even ask a follow-up! When A-Rod keeps saying, "Today you'd get in a lot of trouble," Peter doesn't say "But what you were taking was banned then, right?" Further, how could Peter let A-Rod use the weather in Texas as an excuse without asking a follow-up? Ever heard of hydration, A-Rod?

Why is it that no one, other Tom Verducci, is calling Gammons out for doing such a terrible job? ESPN should be embarrassed, absolutely embarrassed.

What Is Still Sacred?

2009-02-09T16:14:00.000-08:00

With the news that A-Rod, the man who was supposed to take back the most sacred number in all of sports, 755, tested positive for steroids, it has become clear that every offensive number since 1997 on is tainted. All the HRs, all the RBI, all the runs, all the increased batting averages, they are all meaningless. In my mind, the last decade should be taken out of the record book, none of the numbers should count. More should probably be taken out. Canseco's numbers certainly can't count.
That being said, what number remains sacred? Home runs can't count, the stat has been ruined. Total bases is perhaps the most important number for an all-around hitter, hitting for power won't get you to the top, you have to hit for doubles, singles, everything. Unfortunately, Bonds and Palmeiro are each in the top ten, so that number may well be tainted, especially with Sosa, A-Rod, and Sheffield in the top 50. As for slugging, it's kind of a bullshit statistic, so it can't count. Runs, perhaps? Nope, Bonds is ahead of both Aaron and Ruth. When it comes to RBI, Bonds is in the top five and A-Rod is poised to move to the top soon. Further, Sosa and Sheffield are also high on the list. While Aaron is still on top, thank God, I can't see that as the most important number in sports. Also, RBI depends heavily on the team you play for. If you don't have good players in front of you, you won't knock in a lot of runs. RBI, then, doesn't measure your ability as a player.
After considering all of those numbers, total bases has to be the most important of all. It is the natural choice to take over for home runs. Unlike RBI, it measures your ability as a hitter, it is not necessarily a reflection of those around you like RBI is. Even if no one good is on your team, players still put up good offensive numbers other than RBI. More important, despite all the steroids and all the cheating, Bonds, A-Rod, McGwire, Sosa, and the other scum couldn't take it away from Aaron. That number shows that playing good baseball, well-rounded baseball, and not focusing solely home runs, will still keep you at the top of the stat that recognizes the best all-around hitter. In my mind, 6856 is the new most important number in sports.
What do you think?

What In The Hell?

2009-02-01T12:23:00.000-08:00

Can someone explain to me just how in the hell the following two athletes are left out of the Pro Football Hall of Fame -- Cris Carter and Shannon Sharpe? When invitations to Canton are handed out, how can you not include these two gentlemen? Let me give you the names again -- Cris Carter and Shannon Sharpe. They are not in the Hall of Fame? Really? How can that be?
Let's take Cris Carter. Eight straight 1,000 yard seasons. Third all-time in receptions (retired second in receptions). Seventh in receiving yards (since his retirement, he's been passed by Isaac Bruce, Marvin Harrison, and T.O.). Fourth in receiving touchdowns (since been passed by T.O. and Randy Moss). When he retired, he clearly had established himself as one of the top receivers in the game. He's been passed by people who are clear Hall of Famers (with the exception of Bruce, who benefited from being in a pass-happy offense and ran up a lot of numbers). Without question, he was one of the top receivers in his era. And being the best in your era makes you a Hall of Famer. Him not being in is a disgrace.
Same for Shannon Sharpe. When he retired, he had the most receiving yards for a tight end. Not only that, but since he broke onto the scene, the tight end has become a more important position. Faster people play tight end because of what Sharpe did, stretching defenses and putting pressure on the linebackers. He helped change the position, and he should be recognized for it. I mean, he blocked for two 2,000 yard rushers and won THREE Super Bowls. Yet neither he nor Cris Carter are in the Hall of Fame.
Canton -- what a joke.

The Super Bowl

2009-01-31T11:54:00.000-08:00

Who will win? The team with the best defense, the Steelers, or the team that can get rid of the ball just fast enough to beat the team with the best defense by running multiple slants, the Cardinals? Hard to say. Let's see what Carl of Aqua Teen has to say.

The Steelers? Well, if Carl says it, then it must be true. To be honest, though, I'm kind of pulling for a Cardinals upset. However, I'm only pulling for an upset if the game plays out as follows . . .
1) Kurt Warner gets injured on first play from scrimmage;
2) Matt Leinart comes in;
3) Leinart throws for 350 yards;
4) Leinart throws for 4 TDs; and
5) Leinart wins MVP.
As a side note, he doesn't necessarily have to throw for 350 and 4TDs, he just needs to dominate. I'm not picky, but I'd prefer the 350 with 4 scores. As for the MVP, it is a must. If he doesn't dominate, then it's all for naught.
Why am I pulling for this? As you know, I am sick and tired of hearing that Kurt Warner is a Hall of Famer. If he gets hurt and Leinart comes in and plays exceedingly well, then it is proof that Warner's great play is more a result of those around him than his actual ability. And if that does happen, then Warner does not get into the Hall of Fame.
GO CARDS!!!

Joe Torre to Yanks: Frack You

2009-01-25T15:06:00.000-08:00

I must say that I find the reports about Joe Torre bashing the Yankees in his new book hilarious. Let's set the stage for why I find this funny . . .
Since the Yanks won their last World Series, the franchise has made several stupid decisions that have come back to haunt them. To-wit:
1) Letting Andy Pettite go (before bringing him back);
2) Signing A-Rod;
3) Signing Randy Johnson;
4) Signing Jaret Wright;
5) Signing Carl Pavano;
6) Signing Matsui;
7) Signing Johnny Over The Hill Damon . . .
Well, you get the idea. Offering Torre a pay cut and a one-year contract was the perfect example of how stupid the Yankees have become. You don't force out a manager who took you to the postseason 12 years in a row. Sure, maybe the team failed to accomplish anything, but that was hardly Torre's fault. It was the fault of the organization for putting so much money into pitchers and players who were either not that good or well past their prime (you see that they learned their lesson with this year's free agent spending spree). The fact that some of those teams made it the postseason was remarkable. And Torre deserved nothing but respect for getting those sub-par teams to the playoffs. A manager who wins three World Series deserves a lot more than a pay cut and a one-year contract.
I'm glad to see that Torre is striking back and calling out the Yankees for dumb move after dumb move.
Man, looking at that list of those free agent signings, I can't begin to understand how Brian Cashman has managed to keep his job all these years. Looks like yet another dumb move by the Yankees . . .

Jeff Kent

2009-01-21T16:37:00.000-08:00

Jeff Kent retired and now there's some debate as to whether he's a Hall of Famer. His offensive stats are extremely impressive for second basemen. He hit almost 400 home runs, has over 1500 RBI, and has close to 2500 hits. He passes Ryne Sandberg in practically every major offensive category, even batting average, and I think that most people would agree that Sandberg is the yardstick for greatness among second basemen.
However, Kent and defense didn't really go hand-in-hand. Where Sandberg got 9 Gold Gloves, Kent had zero. And Kent, despite his offensive numbers, only managed 4 Silver Sluggers. That shocked me, but not as much as learning that Sandberg had 7, including 5 straight. Sandberg was also a 10 time All-Star, whereas Kent made it half as many times.
At first blush, Kent looks like a Hall of Famer. I mean, all those home runs, hits, and RBI from a second baseman is something that has to be acknowledged by the Hall, right? But if you look at his All-Star appearances, his lack of Gold Gloves, and his few Silver Sluggers, you start to wonder if he is a Hall of Famer after all. Maybe, on further inspection, Kent is more a product of his era. Kent benefited from smaller ball parks, expansion, and watered-down pitching. I don't hard, it's hard to say.
To be honest, I really can't come to an opinion on this one. Thoughts? I can't make up my mind and could use some help. I think that Ted Keith from SI.com is right -- we need more time to evaluate Kent and compare him to other second basemen from his era, just before, and shortly thereafter.

Kurt Warner Not a Hall of Famer

2009-01-19T16:22:00.000-08:00

There has been a lot of debate lately about Kurt Warner being a Hall of Famer for leading the Cardinals into the playoffs. While I think that Kurt Warner has done some amazing things, I must respectfully disagree.
First, I have to admit that Warner did some amazing things in St. Louis. But let's be honest about who was responsible for turning the Rams from pathetic to contender -- MARSHALL FAULK. Those two MVP awards that Warner got in St. Louis were because of Faulk. He was the catalyst of that team. He was not only the running game, but was also an instrumental part of the passing game. While Faulk was shut down running the ball in the Super Bowl against the Titans, he put together 90 receiving yards on 5 catches. That same year, Faulk set an NFL record for yards from scrimmage. That championship was all about Faulk. Warner helped, certainly, but Faulk was the key.
The rest of Warner's career in St. Louis proves my point. With Isaac Bruce slowing down, Az Hakim and Ricky Proehl gone elsewhere, Warner's numbers slipped. Not only that, but with Faulk injured, the Rams fell apart, Warner lost his starting job, and was shipped to the Giants. He didn't do much there and, outside of this year, he has only been slightly above-average in Arizona. This year, too, saw Warner's dependence on those around him. The Cards started out hot, but sputtered when the running game absolutely fell to pieces. The low-point had to be the New England game that saw him get benched for Matt Leinart during a beating that no team should ever have to experience.
But the Cards turned the corner after that beat down and have played surprisingly well the rest of the way. Why? Must be all those TDs that Warner's been throwing to Larry Fitzgerald. Well, um, no, that's not it. Edgerrin James has been given a lot of touches early in the playoff games and, while not doing great, his play has allowed the Cards to control the clock and free up Breaston, the tight ends, and, most important, Fitzgerald. James is more responsible for this turnaround that Warner.
Again, I think that Warner has played great football and done some amazing things. However, as good has he's been, he's not a Hall of Fame caliber quarterback. Let's end the debate right now.

Jon Gruden, Fired.

2009-01-16T15:57:00.000-08:00

As a Panthers fan, I must say that I'm actually happy about this. Gruden is a good coach who almost always has his team ready to play at a very high level. That West Coast Offense he runs isn't easy to defend against, either.
I'm not too sure why the Bucs fired Gruden. As it is, they are one year removed from an NFC South Division title and the playoffs. And, despite inconsistency from Gruden teams since the Super Bowl, the Bucs have won two division titles since then and been to the playoffs twice. Further, the Bucs have been overhauling their roster since the Super Bowl victory and suffered through key injuries to QB and RB, two of the most important positions on a team. Where they haven't changed personnel on defense, they are old (see Derrick Brooks and Ronde Barber).
And not to question the wisdom of getting rid of Gruden too much, but firing a coach this late after the regular season doesn't make too much sense. The Bucs are behind the eight-ball when it comes to getting the top remaining prospects, and the last time a team fired a coach this late, the Chargers ended up with Norv Turner (not sure how well that will work out come next season), and when Parcells left Dallas so suddenly, the Cowboys ended up with Wade Phillips. Does anyone think that was a good idea? And will anyone ever hire Jason Garrett?

The Bears Kept the Wrong Coordinator

2009-01-13T17:06:00.000-08:00

After the Super Bowl in 2006, the Bears made a strange personnel decision and fired their defensive coordinator Ron Rivera. It's a move that I didn't understand at the time, and I certainly don't understand it now. Today, Lovie Smith, the head coach of the Bears, dismissed Rivera's replacement, Bob Babich. Babich inherited a defense that ranked 2nd and 5th under Rivera, and quickly ruined it. The Bears ranked 28th and 21st the last two years. Rivera, however, took over a Chargers defense that was falling apart this year and got it to play at a high level down the stretch and was instrumental in getting the Chargers into the playoffs.
When Rivera was let go, the defense was the heart of a Bears team with a terrible offense. And the man who runs that offense at the time, Ron Turner, has somehow kept his job despite inconsistent play from his quaterbacks while with the Bears. It started with Rex Grossman, and continued with Kyle Orton, who played better than Grossman, but not at a level high enough to keep the Bears in contention for the Super Bowl. Bears fans must be all the more frustrated as a Grossman was a first round draft pick, and Orton was a 4th round pick out of Purdue thought by many to be a steal. Not only that, but Brian Griese, a pretty decent game manager, was with the Bears for two seasons and didn't do much of anything. Given that Griese's strength is in short-passing and keeping the offense on the field, it's bizarre that Turner couldn't use those abilities to get enough production out of an offense that only needed to be slightly below average for the defense to carry the team to a championship.
Do you think that Lovie Smith regrets letting Ron Rivera go and keeping Ron Turner? If I were Lovie Smith, I would.

Congrats Jim Rice

2009-01-12T11:18:00.000-08:00

Finally
Jim Ed Rice, one of the most feared hitters of the late 70's and 80's, finally made a deserved Hall of Fame spot. Red Sox Nation could not be happier.

Another sports thought . . .
Hey Asante Samuel, nice job intercepting Eli Manning and help your Eagles get to the NFC Championship, but I got one questions . .

WHY THE FUCK DID YOU HOLD ONTO THAT ONE AND NOT THE ONE IN THE SUPER BOWL LAST YEAR?

I am Malach and I can't let go

Cardinals v. Panthers -- I Was There

2009-01-11T15:11:00.001-08:00

A lot of Panthers fans at the game last Saturday were upset. I'm not sure why, but most people I talked to said that it was because of Jake Delhomme's performance. All I can say about that is that I was at the game and I didn't notice anything upsetting.

Tony Dungy and the Playoffs

2009-01-06T16:36:00.000-08:00

There has been a lot of debate lately regarding whether Tony Dungy is a bust in the playoffs. That's a difficult debate as the Colts won the Super Bowl a few years back. Also, Dungy got to the AFC Championship twice with the Colts. Sounds impressive, no?
Well, like with most things, the truth is complicated. To understand Dungy's success as a head coach, you have to back to his days in Tampa Bay. When Dungy came to Tampa, the organization was in shambles. He slowly put together an impressive defense and a capable offense. In four short seasons, Dungy had Tampa Bay one questionable reversal away from the Super Bowl. Had it not been for that dubious call, Tampa would have upset the heavily-favored Rams and made it to the Super Bowl against the Titans. After that, though, his team went from 11-5 to 10-6 and then to 9-7, losing twice in the Wild-Card round to the Eagles. Dungy's overall record in the postseason with Tampa Bay was an underwhelming 2-4.
After that, he went to the Colts. The Colts were on the rise, but struggled on defense and, despite having an excellent offense, were unable to put it all together and win consistently. Enter Tony Dungy. The Colts go 10-6 and get back to the playoffs, losing to a far superior Jets team in the Wild-Card round. After that, the Colts make it to the AFC Championship game and lose to a far superior Patriots team. Another 12-4 season ended in a loss to the Pats in the divisional round. After three season in Indianapolis, Dungy had won 3 and lost 3 in the postseason. Not too shabby, not at all.
After his second straight loss to the Pats, Dungy guides the Colts to a 14-2 regular season. But a very impressive season ends in an embarrassing last-second loss to a Steelers team who, while going on to win the Super Bowl, had been inconsistent throughout most of the season and got hot late. Dungy's postseason record with the Colts was 3-4 at that point. Again, nothing to shake a stick at.
And the next season, Dungy got the crowning achievement -- a Super Bowl win. The Colts went 4-0 in the playoffs and beat the Patriots in the AFC Championship game en route to defeating the Bears and taking the Super Bowl. Dungy's record with the Colts improved to 7-4 in the playoffs, and with the defense finally playing to a level necessary to sustain the Colts success, looked poised to create a dynasty. And with Peyton Manning, Marvin Harrison, Joseph Addai, Reggie Wayne, Dallas Clark, and Bob Sanders and Dwight Frenney on defense, one more Super Bowl over the next few years wouldn't be out of the question, and a return to the AFC Championship would be a given.
But that hasn't happened. Since winning the Super Bowl, the Colts have done what they always do under Dungy in the regular season, win a lot more than they lose. The Colts were 13-3 in 2007 and 12-4, thanks to NINE straight wins, this season. But they also suffered two bitter losses to the Chargers in the playoffs; for those of you paying attention, that's an 0-2 record in the postseason. And, in all fairness to the Chargers, the Colts should have won each of those games. The Chargers, coached by Norv Turner the last two years, have been extremely inconsistent in regular season and made the playoffs this year thanks in large part to an historic collapse by the Broncos. The Colts have not won a postseason game since winning the Super Bowl despite putting up an ungodly 25-7 regular season record over that two-year span.
To put up that many wins in two years and fail to make a conference championship, or at least win ONE postseason game, is just unacceptable. Colts fans should be upset about that. While Dungy is a phenomenal coach, he cannot sustain excellence at the championship level. He took Tampa Bay to a high point and the organization fell flat afterwards. The same has happened with the Colts. The Colts won the Super Bowl that Tampa Bay never did. It was an amazing moment that Dungy and the Colts had been waiting a long time for.
But it is unlikely that Dungy will be able to return to that level. His postseason career involves SIX one-and-dones. SIX. If you take out the 2006 season, Dungy's postseason record is a miserable 5-10. That is not a sign of sustained excellence; it is a sign of underachieving. If the Colts want another Super Bowl, Dungy is not the man to bring it to them. Dungy is a very good coach, but he is certainly not great. He is not a Bellichick, not a Parcells, not a Cowher, nor a Holmgren.
That being said, if Dungy does come back for another year and wins a Super Bowl, I will gladly eat crow.

The Real MVP

2009-01-04T04:18:00.000-08:00

Is whomever Peter King doesn't vote for.
I didn't understand all the "Peyton Manning is the MVP" talk that started up in the last six weeks or so of the season. Sure, he was playing better, but his defense got healthier as did his receiving corps. That had as much to do with the team's winning streak as did Manning. He also played like garbage at the start of the season and had an awful game late in the season against the Browns. The Browns? Really?
In my mind, the MVP should have been Philip Rivers. He threw for more touchdowns and yards than Manning, threw fewer interceptions, and had a better rating than Manning. Brees had a good argument, but Rivers' team made the playoffs. Michael Turner also had a good argument, but Matt Ryan had a large part in that team's success (although Turner was more important as running the ball and playing good defense wins championships).
Rivers was the key in the Chargers' turnaround from dead in the water to AFC West Division champ. He kept throwing for touchdowns, he kept moving the ball down the field, and he did it all without LT playing well (to say the least), with an inconsistent defense that saw a change at coordinator, and a banged up Antonio Gates who missed A LOT of practice all season. Sure, Rivers can be an immature punk some times, but you can't hate on his ability or on what he accomplished this season.
Manning, however, is the new Brett Favre, the darling of the media who gets all sorts of excuses made for his poor performance (remember the injury rumors early on this year?). While Manning is a great QB, and more consistent and less turnover prone than Favre, he isn't the best QB ever. Heck, he stinks in the postseason record-wise, although this year he put up good numbers in his latest one-and-done performance (and I feel bad for him, the last several years he's played well in the postseason, but his team hasn't gotten it done since winning the Super Bowl).
And who did Manning lose to this year? The same team Manning and the Colts lost to last year, the Chargers. And who is the QB for the Chargers? Who led the team that shut down the Colts in their first and only playoff game this year and last?
Philip Rivers. The real MVP.

The World Is Ending

2008-09-14T04:58:00.000-07:00

Duke Football is 2-1! WOOT WOOT!
Actually, the team could easily be 3-0 were it not for an unfortunate holding penalty against Northwestern that wiped out a game-winning touchdown. This team is playing a lot like they did early last season. Duke was putting up points and hanging in games, but fading late. They couldn't close out a game and it cost Ted Roof, unfairly, his job. I think a lot of that had to do with youth. While Duke is still young, they are much older at key positions this year, especially at QB. Thad Lewis is in his third year as a starter and is a true junior.
Duke has to be confident now, very confident. Virginia will be tough two weeks from now, Duke has a bye-week next, but Duke almost beat them last year and they have to believe they can do it now. They are putting up a lot of points, something Virginia has been unable to do. I mean, Virginia only put up 16 against Richmond! If Duke gets confident, the sky's the limit (except when we play teams like Va Tech, Clemson, and Wake, those teams are just more physical than we are). It'll be interesting to see if we can hang with Miami, Vandy, and Ga Tech. Those teams, with the exception of Vandy, are not unquestionably better than Duke this year and are rebuilding. Duke could easily shock one or two of those teams; those teams are not so much better that you can say that Duke cannot compete.
I'm not saying Duke will get into a bowl game or will have seven wins or anything like that. I'm just saying that when a team gets some early wins, gets confident, and starts to believe in itself, there is no telling what can happen. Even better, the core of this team will be back next year and Cutcliffe should be able to do some excellent recruiting if we get close to 6 wins (he's already doing a great job in that respect).
I'm excited about what's going on, but I'm keeping calm, too.

Here We Go Patriots!

2008-09-09T08:37:00.000-07:00

Take Heart Pats Fans
Yes, I joke. Yes, Tom Brady gives us a much better chance to win it all, and no, Matt Cassel is not better, nor the second coming of Brady. But you see, that is how I deal with loss like this, humor.

But think about it for a moment. This is still a very good team. We still have a best coach in football, and now he has to prove it. Think back to 2001. Bledsoe gets killed, and this fresh face Tom Brady comes in, and what happens? Yeah we win our first Super Bowl, but what really happened? Think back to that team. This was not the bully on the field. This was not the dominating offense. This was not Brady to Moss. Who were some of the "stars" on offense? Troy Brown, Terry Glenn, Jermaine Wiggins, Damien Woody, Joe Andruzzi, JR Redmond, Antowain Smith, David Patten. How about defense? You remember Terrel Buckley? Otis Smith? Tebucky Jones? How did that Patriots team go 11 - 5? How did that team win a Super Bowl?

Tom Brady was not Tom Brady back then. He was a game manager, and Pats won by coaching, changing game plans to suit opponents. Last year team required little coaching, not like the 2001 team. In 2001 they morphed in each game, and played whatever they needed to play to win, they have to do that now. Now this team is behind the 8 ball, but don't they always like that? This is a better team even without Tom than was in 2001. Let's enjoy the journey.

While of course I would prefer Tom Terrific, I am actually excited for this season, bring it on! This is gonna be fun!

Malach's 08 - 09 NFL Preview

2008-09-04T05:29:00.000-07:00

It is back once again, I know you missed it.
Malach's 08' - 09' NFL preview is brought to you today by ROYTERS New Service your place for the news you need, and Branwe, the new fiction series from Christopher Morris. It is also brought to you today by Meet The Heroes.

Before we begin, I must invoke the name of Hastur the Unspeakable; Hastur will assist Malach in his domination of his Fantasy Football League, because no one knows Fantasy Football like the King in Yellow.

Right to it now, it will be a very interesting year, let's break it down by Divisions:

AFC EAST
The AFC East should once again be dominated by the New England Patriots. While there is some improvement in the rest of the division, only the Jets with their addition of an actually quarterback will be the only other team to finish in the playoff hunt. Miami is still a major work in progress, and when a pot smoking guy whose taken a couple years off is you main offensive weapon, you know you got problems. The Bills might surprise a few teams, but they are still no more than a .500 team. Now the Jets, even with a old Brett Favre they have a major improvement at quarterback from Spaghetti arm Chad Pennington, that alone might allow them to win around 10 games, but Favre has never played smashmouth style AFC Football, and he will probably toss a number of interceptions. As for the Patriots, they also have some issues. The loss of Asante Samuel will hurt, but the pickup of Deltha O'Neil will give them a playmaker they are sorely lacking in the secondary. The part that concerns me most is their O-Line, which has some major injuries to starters. Returning are Sammy Morris and the addition of Lamont Jordan should help with that though. The Patriots also have an every easy schedule. The final standings?
NE: 12 - 4
NYJ: 10 - 6
BUFF: 8 - 8
MIA: 6 - 10

AFC NORTH
Very interesting division with a number of teams that could challenge or fall flat. Pittsburgh is the cream of the crop in the division, not a ton of changes there, and Rothlisberger is now a season removed from that Hell Ride he had; and has become one of the best QB's in the league behind Brady and Manning. Hines Ward, though older is still a very good wide receiver, and Pitt has not lost really anything that important on a pretty impressive offence last year. Their defense as always will be tough and very physical. Cleveland is very interesting. I am not convinced Derek Andsersen is a long term answer for the Browns at QB, and I wonder how long before Brady Quinn begins to take the reins of this team. Look for a high flying attack like last year, and a slight stiffer defense. The Bengals, the NFL's Prison Team: again no defense, they will be in shoot outs the entire season, and until they get rid of Marvin Lewis, the won't go much farther than the first round of the playoffs. The Ravens? Their defense will keep them in most games, but with a new young QB, and age really starting to show, this could be a lost season for them.
PITT: 11 - 5
CLE: 10 - 6
CIN: 8 - 8
BAL: 7 - 9

AFC SOUTH
After the Colts, there is a real drop off in talent in this division. Indy might end up the best team in the AFC this year. Like Brady, Manning is coming off a strange injury, and they might start with a few hiccups. the loss of Jeff Saturday could be big at first, but the Colts should survive and take this division by a few games. Jacksonville is a bit of a puzzle. They have major O-Line issues, and with the way their offense runs, that could be very dangerous. They also couple of key losses on defense, but should still have the physical stingy defense of past seasons. It will also be interesting if they use shooting of Richard Collier as a rallying point. After that we have Houston and Tennessee. The Titans should take another step forward, and this is the time for Vince Young to make another leap. They are still the team no one likes to play, but they have to translate that into wins. Houston on the other hand, well it's Houston.
IND: 13 - 3
JAC: 10 - 6
TEN: 9 - 7
HOU: 3 - 13

AFC WEST
San Diego is the darling of the media right now, and addition last year of Chambers actual gave them a viable Wide Receiver, but I am not convinced. Yes, they will probably take the division a particularly weak division, but Phillip Rivers is the guy that would concern me, I am still not convinced. Addition Shawn Merriman is and idiot for trying to play on the injuries he has. As for the rest of the division, Denver is the only other team, and they only have a very slight chance to make the playoffs. KC might be the worst team in football, and the Raiders, the Raiders have a good defense, and that is it.
SD: 11 - 5
DEN: 9 - 7
OAK: 7 - 9
KC: 2 - 14

NFC EAST
This is gonna be fun to watch, you have 4 teams, all who are pretty good, all who could contend. Dallas is still the team to beat, even with the Giants Superbowl win. They have the most talent, and I hate to say this, Romo could turn into a elite level QB this year. Overall very talented team, with no real weaknesses beyond the head coach. Malach does predict that Wade Phillips won't be back next year, and depending on preformance might get fired halfway through. Dallas has a huge advantage playing in the weak NFC but they are hurt by playing in the toughest division in football. The Giants. It will be interesting to see if they can come off their Super Bowl win with out a let down. Eli Manning is still a questionmark, he needs to improve his interceptions for the Giants to come close sniffing the division title. Defense again should be very tough up front, and they should at least on paper challenge Dallas for the division. Philly is should be ready to resurface and win a number of games this year. McNabb finally seems to be healthy and Brian Westbrook has turned into a elite runnning back. There is still a lot of question of who the hell McNabb will be throwing too though. Unlike much of the rest of the NFL, Philly has a very good secondary, and a more questionable D-line, LB package. And finally we get the Redskins. Someone has to come in last in the division and Washington is the most likely, though they steadily improved last year. I like Jason Campbell, but he needs to turn the corner this year
DAL: 11 - 5
NYG: 11 - 5
PHI: 10 - 6
WAS: 9 - 7

NFC NORTH
Wow, what a mediocre division . . . there is no impressive team, nor really bad team. Mediocrity. Yuck, I don't even have anything smart to say about it. Well maybe I do, the division winner probably won't deserve to make the playoffs.
DET: 9 - 7
MIN: 9 - 7
CHI: 8 - 8
GB: 7 - 9

NFC SOUTH
The Saints are easily the best team in this division and since Gustav did not blow away the Superdome they have a home field. The Saint's issue is defense, they will get into a lot of shootouts, most of them they will win. Beyond that Tampa Bay might put up a little stink, Carolina still doesn't have a QB, and the Falcons? I kind of fell bad for Matt Ryan, he gonna take a beating this year (yes, he will be the start by mid season).
NO: 11 - 5
TB: 9 - 7
CAR: 7 - 9
ATL: 3 - 13

NFC WEST
Like the South, Seattle is best team here, and should have no issue taking the division, beyond the Seahawks, you have a mediocre and old Rams team; a Cardinals team unwilling to turn the team over to Matt Leinart, but with some real talent; and 49ers team, the should be up and coming but still a few players away from making real noise.
SEA: 11 - 5
STL: 9 - 7
ARI: 8 - 8
SF: 6 - 10

As for a Superbowl winner, I gotta go with a pissed off Pats. Sorry rest of the world.

I am Malach, and I am usually right one on this preview.

Is There a Draft In Here?

2008-08-31T16:48:00.000-07:00

Something keeps me up at night. An early morning draft. So, with a live draft online tomorrow, I find myself doing the endless loop of a walk through. Some people mock fantasy football. They get all huffy and wonder why I get so involved. Usually I tell them, "Well, it's more fun than talking to you, and I take that seriously."

The truth is, I don't care if it's a game of pick-up-sticks against a spallpox infected 4 year old cripple girl that I've been bribed a hundred million dollars to lose to, I play to win.

Playing to win means:

1. Being the most prepared.
2. Waiting for the right time to take a calculated risk.
3. Never letting up on the taser.

You tase, then you tase again, then you tase.

So, I've got three cheat sheets. One generic (to predict opponents tendencies and keep myself in check). One custom with all non-Murk players removed. And one for emergencies, oddball picks, and bombing out all the talent from the late rounds, affectionately called 'The Bitch List'.

Shock and Awe. Then tase.

So, I'll give you three curveballs. If you see these picks during your draft, the dude making them is pulling something funny.

First: No quarterbacks in the first five rounds and then he busts out with Matt Ryan and Jon Kitna. This is a classic, pioneered by 'the Don' in the early nineties. The point, pick risk-reward QBs late and wait for someone on waivers to emerge, or one of your goofy guys to come up reasonably big. Papa Murk and I did this one year with Testaverde and when a Guy Named Trent Green went down for the Rams, we picked up a then studly Kurt Warner. He then went on to win an MVP and a Superbowl.

Second: Chris Johnson, RB Tennessee. Nobody checks the second back on the Titan's depth chart unless a). they're from Tennessee, b). they're an insufferable draftnic. If you see a guy pick him up, he's going to bust your balls wide open late in the draft. He'll even straight shoot you a nice 10th round pick, because he can, because he's not worried about your team and because he wants to make sure you don't accidently fuck up his Tim Hightower bomb on his next pick.

Third: If you see a fellow drafter go one, two, three on running backs, don't panic. This is an old old trick. Kill the late round RB bargains and get three top 20 running backs. Warning: It will work for him, because he planned his draft that way. It will not work for you, who has Randy Moss and Tony Romo in your top ten.

So, whether your draft is today, tomorrow, or some other stupid day, good luck to you. Get some sleep if you can.

Fantasy Football Top Ten

2008-08-23T09:51:00.000-07:00

Your top ten sets the tone for your draft. The great thing about a top ten is you can share it with the idiots in your league. Everyone had a variation of the same seven and three. Seven consensus players that everyone wants, and up to three opinion picks. A perfect example from the past is Curtis Martin. He was a consensus top ten for the first five years of his career, but very much a contraversial opinion top ten pick in years 6 and seven.

Okay, so here is my top ten:

1. Adrian Peterson - The best fantasy player in the NFL. If you don't agree, you've never watched him in a full game. Go to you tube and search for his highlights.

2. Randy Moss - WHAT??? Always nice to have a pocket shocker at number 2. Check the numbers. In a head to head league, he's a wet dream for any owner: a wide receiver that scores like a running back.

3. LT - No, not the coke machine, Lawrence Taylor. At three, you can't even beat him with a pocket shocker. A bad year from LT is a good year for anyone below him.

4. Tom Brady - If he scores half as much as he did last year, he'll only be worth 50% of what he was. Uhuh. I said that.

5. Peyton Manning - If he's healthy. He's in any top ten just for name.

6. Larry Johnson - Actually, I don't believe in him at all, but everyone else does, so he goes here.

7. Joseph Addai - Solid solid solid.

8. Steven Jackson - Long holdouts sometimes hurt running backs, but this is Steven Jackson.

9. Ryan Grant - Oh, come on. Don't be a snob. Sure, you could take a name here, but this guy produces.

10. Vince Young - This pick is poison. Don't listen to me. I do this in honor of the five straight years I took Steve McNair around here. Three years it worked.

Caveats: Draft according to your plan. After number 5, there are no guarantees. Remember, you don't rank players to sleep through the draft. Pick what you see, what you want and what you like. Especially in a free or cheap league, nothing is worse than a team of players you don't like.

Remember, only one team wins, so nine out of ten times, you're paling for fun and pride.

More draft advice next week.

Fantasy Football Sleepers

2008-08-21T08:32:00.001-07:00

Although I hate the term 'sleeper', as it implies a Rip Van Winkle sort of player, I love picking up players no one thought of and succeeding with them. By far, the greatest team I've ever drafted (with Papa Murk) had Terry Allen as a Redskin, Marshall Faulk in his rookie year and Natrone Means before he was famous. At least, that's how I remember it.

So, in honor of late round trash talkers everywhere, I bring you the Secret Weapons of Fantasy Football 2008.

Quaterback:

Don't waste your time searching for value early. If you pull the trigger on a QB in the first round, you'd better be damn sure what you're getting. A late flyer on one of these names might do it for you.

Jay Cutler - Not a sleeper per se, but overlooked. 20 tds and 3000 yards baseline, with a bit of upside. Not great for head to head leagues.

Matt Schaub - Papa Murk's pick. Nuff said. Great receivers, great arm. Stay healthy, please Matt.

David Garrard - Oh, he looks bad until the last 3 round of the draft, then you say, "Hey, he's still there?" And he will be.

Running Backs:

Don't draft running backs. Draft ONE running back. By this I mean, stay away from split duty guys. Pick a full time runner early if you can and fill in the gaps with steady yardage guys.

Jamal Lewis - He's not dead yet. Solid 10 point a week guy. Pick him up in the fourth or fifth, depending on your league IQ.

Edgerrin James - WHAT? Just wait. Pick him up late and wait. Not your number 1. Hell, not your number 2, but number 3??? Hell.

Julius Jones - This has a lot of risk, but Seattle always seems to pick up an average guy and make him great. Their Offensive Line is great. Everyone jumps on Denver running backs, but Seattle is the place for me.

Ricky Williams - What am I, high? Yes. High on some of that Jamaican Ricky Bomb. Value late. Maybe some upside.

Wide Receivers:

Picking wide receiver sleepers is like making out with your sister. Sure, it's making out, but it's really NOT something to brag about. But, why let 2000 years of taboo stand in the way.

Jerricho Cotchery - He will be the number six scoring receiver in your league by the end of the season. Bank it.

Calvin Johnson - Ut oh. Bad pick goes right. We call this one the KEARNS. So bad it has to work.

Roddy White - The annual "Someone has to catch the ball there" pick. A deep deep sleeper that may never wake up. BUT, worth a 7th round flier if he's there.

Kickers, Defenses, TE, etc:

They're all sleepers.

More Draft Coverage Next Week.

What Division is the Best?

2008-08-20T07:41:00.000-07:00

I was looking at the MLB standings this morning and noticed how the league only has two strong divisions from top to bottom, the AL East and, surprisingly, the NL Central. The AL Central only has two teams, the ChiSox and the Twins, but neither of those teams look particularly strong and the rest of the division sucks, especially the Tigers. The NL East has a good race going on right now, but none of those teams are strong. The Mets and Phillies have a lot of weaknesses, primarily with pitching, the Marlins are so-so, the Braves are all dinged up and it's amazing that they aren't in last place, and the Nationals are a total embarrassment. 38 games under .500? Dude. And don't bother wasting time arguing the merits of the West divisions, you'll just look like a total idiot.
My question is which division is the best. You have a good argument for the AL East because 4 of the 5 teams are over .500 and the Orioles, the lone sub-.500 team, is only 5 games under. However, there isn't much of a race for the division outside of the DRays and the BoSox. The Yankees have no chance, nor do the Blue Jays.
The NL Central, though, is also starting to look like a two-team race. The Brewers are 6 behind the Cubs and the Cards are 8.5 back. Hell, that doesn't even really look like a race. But given that the Cubs, Cards, and Brewers still have a lot of games to play against each other, it's still anyone's division. Also, there is a real battle for the Wild Card between the Brewers and Cards (and the Cubs if anything goes wrong), which makes it distinct from the AL East. The Yanks are pretty much done and cannot compete top-to-bottom with the BoSox or DRays for the division or the Wild Card. This gives the NL Central an edge over the NL East as far as interest. Also, the Astros are the fourth team over .500 in the division. For the only six-team division in the league to have 4 teams over .500 says something about its strength. The Pirates and Reds, though, make the division's bottom real weak as they are 12 and 16 games under .500 respectively.
I have concluded that, because of the records of the Pirates and Reds at the bottom of the NL Central, the AL East is better top-to-bottom, but that the NL Central is the more interesting division. The division race is still strong in the Central and will probably come down to the last week of the season, as will the Wild Card.

The Switch

2008-07-17T06:01:00.000-07:00

What's up with New York Yankees Fans?
Malach has noticed a steady change in the fan base of the New York Yankees over this past decade. There has been a switch . . . Gone are the self confident, we are gonna win it all fans, here are the paranoid, and downtrodden fans that have populated Red Sox nation pre 2004.

Was it the 2004 series, the Titanic Choke job to these same Red Sox that did it? Is it the lacks of winning the big one since the beginning of this century? Is it the two championship by their arch rivals who could never seem to get over the hump in the past? Is it the deteriorating health of George?

I don't know, but I can tell you that Yankees fans, are turning more and more into the Curse of the Bambino Red Sox fans. Not only the fan base, but the team.

There was one thing we always got used to as pre-2004 Sox fans. Every year you would field a team that could bash the Hell out of the ball, but couldn't pitch, especially when you got into the late innings. So, they would go through the season, beating up on lesser talent, trading games with the Yankees, but always be one play short. We had a shoddy farm system at best, and our bet young players ended up on other teams. We were willing to over pay former superstars at the end of their career in hopes they would catch fire one more time. We would overpay to keep our current players as they came to the end of their career. There were constantly philosophy battles between baseball operations, the team manager, and ownership, on the direction of the team, who should be playing, what moves should be made, etc . . .

Does that now perfectly describe the past approximately decade of Yankees teams?

As fans, we expected the worse, expected bad things to happen, felt cheated of glory, and would do stupid thinks like chant "Yankees Suck" when they didn't. We would get into fights over or dysfunctional team. We would have eternal hope every spring and say things like: "Maybe Saberhagen can regain his form from the prime of his career". We would spend hours lamenting and ranting about this team with co-workers, talk radio, and fan forums.

Does that now describe your typical Yankees fan?

Now we spend our time not worrying about this team, feeling that everything will be fine by the end of the season, and they will go on yet another playoff run.

I really think nothing indicates this more than the 2008 All Star Game. All the Sox Players were booed, which is to be expected, but intensely booed, more that usual. And the real kicker was the JD Drew home run, the stands exploded as he hit that game tying homer, until the mostly Yankees fans realized it was Drew that hit it, then he was roundly booed before even crossing second base. This is the type of paranoid behavior you got from Red Sox fans in the past. It is kind of sad . .

And besides, their just jealous of our rain delay!

I am Malach, Blame it on the Rain

Carlos Marmol

2008-07-12T13:58:00.000-07:00

Thanks for blowing a F I V E run lead in the 9th to waste Harden's first start for the Cubs. Ridiculous. Just fracking ridiculous. You've sucked it up the last month, and giving up F I V E runs to the GIANTS of all teams is just unacceptable. I know that we ended up winning the game, thanks to my boy Reed Johnson with a big hit in the 11th that drove in Mark DeRosa, but it shouldn't have gone into extras.
If it were up to me, Gaudin, Marshall (who cleaned up your mistake with two shutout innings), or Cotts would take your slot as the set-up man when Eyre comes back and we have to make a roster move. Hell, I'd rather have Hart than you at this point even though he isn't much beyond one inning and he isn't an MLB set-up man. I'm not knocking Hart, he's a great guy and a good team player who can contribute in certain situations, but he just hasn't shown that he's got what it takes to stay in the majors.
Carlos, I know that you're a good pitcher and you've got the tools to be great at this level, but you need a few weeks in the minors to get your head straight.
I am pulling for you even though I'm really upset at you right now.

CUBBIES!!!

2008-07-08T19:17:00.000-07:00

With the Brewers getting Sabbathia, the Cubs had to do something. And picking up Rich Harden is HUGE! Our rotation is as follows:
1) Zambrano
2) Harden
3) Dempster
4) Lily
5) Marquis
and Sean Marshall can come in and make spot starts while giving long relief from the bullpen. He's also a lefty, which is great, and he closed a game earlier this year.
We didn't give up that much to get Harden, either. Gallagher has a lot of promise, but Harden is young and more established. Also, Marshall has just as much upside as Gallagher and has the advantage of being a lefty. We didn't have room for Patterson in the infield (Theriot, DeRosa, Cedeno, and Fontenot) and Murton wasn't getting playing time behind Fukodome, Soriano, Edmonds, and Johnson. This gives Patterson and Murton a chance to play and show that they can compete at the big league level. The Cubs also got to keep Fontenot and Hoffpauir, two lefties who are needed in the Cubs overly right-handed lineup. Pie can also stay at Triple-A and work on his hitting, we got to keep a real good CF prospect and got an ace pitcher!
We're looking pretty good to make a big playoff run this year, but I'm staying cautious as of right now. Still very excited about this, though!

Hat Trick, July 4th

2008-07-06T08:17:00.000-07:00

1. Venus and Serena Williams have 15 major titles between them. Serena has eight. Venus has seven. Most of us never get one. On the one hand, it shuts up the critics who say they lack passion for their sport. On the other... well, there is no other hand.

2. The Boston Red Sox are poised to be this year's disappointment in Major League Baseball... but only to Red Sox Fans. Phil Collins could feel this coming in the air tonight, O Lord. This is how things go. Professional sports are designed to discourage repeat champions. That's why we celebrate when a team does repeat. With injuries, bad calls, weather, injuries, bad deals, and injuries, it is impossible for the Sox to make their trademark run... this year.

3. Nascar has officially bumped the NHL off the 4 spot, now trailing the NFL, MLB and NBA in that order. Note to David Stern: Fix your league quickly. I'm not sure it would happen, but if the NBA suffers more officiating scandals, or if 'thug ball' comes back in style, NASCAR will be the new number 3. Baseball is an untouchable number 2 and football Americana is number 1... in America.

3 seconds left:

Speaking of the rest of the world, are they ever going to dump soccer as their number 1 sport? Never. I watched Euro 2008 and even I got swept up a bit. Anytime someone beats Germany, I get a bit excited.

Tennis Without Hot Chicks Is Borning

2008-06-29T10:57:00.001-07:00

I like tennis a lot. Wifey got me interested in it when we started dating. At first I watched it with her so I could get in her pants, but I eventually grew to love the sport. I was pretty excited about this Wimbledon, but then the best looking women in tennis lost.
What am I supposed to do without them around? It's terrible, just terrible.
OK, OK, more pictures now.

RIP Dan Pires

2008-06-26T07:34:00.000-07:00

Another loss
Standard Times Columnist, and Patriots beat writer Dan Pires passed away suddenly yesterday. Malach did not know him personally, only meeting him a couple of times, my Father knew him slightly better, but the little contact I had with him, and the stories I had heard, the columns I have read, he was a awesome guy, quick with a smile, always there to help, and damn good reporter. He was loved by not only his colleagues, but by many of the Patriots, other beat reporters, and sports journalism figures. There was a nice tribute to him on WEEI this morning, and a nice tribute from Standard Times reporter David Brown. I know I will miss his columns.

I am Malach, and I have another local death to report tonight

The Natural?

2008-06-24T11:05:00.000-07:00

Has anyone actually read the book that the movie is based on? I liked the movie a lot, but I'm not sure if I should read the book. Any thoughts from the peanut gallery?

The Finals Are Over?

2008-06-23T04:28:00.000-07:00

Wait. I was in LA and I didn't see any celebration... HAHAHAHAHA.

Oh.

Sorry. Poised and unbiased. Ahem.

This series was a disappointment. Not for a Boston fan, obviously, but for a basketball fan. We were sold a bill of goods. And ESPN/ABC are still selling. They tell us The West is the tougher of the two and the Lakers were just worn out. No. The Lakers were not a good team. At all. They are one good player, Kobe.

The East is clearly superior. Cleveland and Detroit, hell even Orlando could have 'beat LA'. But people are still buying what they're selling. Utah, San Antonio, don't forget CP# in Nwarlins, y'all! BOYAAAHHH! Bullshit.

You want a team to watch out for? Orlando.

Sure, Boston has a nail on wood favorites chance of reaching the Finals again, but the east will get tougher (except Detroit. note to self, mail check to Flip Saunders for Pistons implosion and fall of Tayshauwnn Prince). Atlanta isn't going to sit still. Cleveland will make a few moves.

So, although satisfying, when a series ends in six with a 39 point blowout and the media favorite is on the losing end and LOOKS like losers, you have to wonder... did they sell me Boston v Los Angeles?

More From I Had A Hammer

2008-06-22T06:23:00.001-07:00

"One time that relief pitcher for St. Louis, 'The Mad Hungarian', Al Hrabosky -- the one who was always strutting around the mound and talking to the baseball -- one night he struck out Hank in a big spot to win the game, and he was jumping up and down and making a big show. The next time we saw him, Hank hit one into the upper deck, and when he got to the dugout, he said, 'Let's see the son of a bitch find that one and talk to it.' " -- Paul Casanova.

"Not long after I got my three thousandth hit that year, Willie got his. It was the first time I had ever reached a milestone ahead of him, and, frankly, it felt good. But Willie was still more than forty homers ahead of me, and that's where the attention was focused. It was still mostly on Willie, and I'd be lying to say it didn't bother me a little bit, because the same thing had been going on for fifteen years. I had to work at not being envious of Willie. I always told myself that my time would come. I considered Mays a rival, certainly, but a friendly rival. At the same time, I would never accept the position as second best. I looked at Willie as my guideline. There were certain things that I couldn't do as well as he could, but I felt if I could do some things a little better, I should and maybe would be classified as the same type of ballplayer. I've never seen a better all-around ballplayer than Willie Mays, but I will say this: Willie was not as good a hitter as I was. No way." -- Hank Aaron.

Excerpts From "I Had A Hammer: The Hank Aaron Story"

2008-06-21T07:49:00.001-07:00

This is a great read that I recommend to everyone. Here's what someone had to say about Hank Aaron and his status among the greats of the game:

Maybe we felt that way because guys like Hank and I didn't get the publicity we should have, due to the fact that we were playing in Milwaukee. Goddamn Winfield gets more publicity just arguing with Steinbrenner than we got our whole careers. Willie Mays, in my opinion, wasn't as good a player as Hank Aaron, but whenever Willie did something, the New York press and the skies lit up. I just felt that Hank was a touch better than Willie. Hank was a complete ballplayer. He never threw to the wrong base, never missed the cutoff man. Willie never hit the cutoff man. Christ, we had a standing rule with the Braves, keep running on Willie, because when he throws home you can go to second in a fox trot. Henry didnt steal bases like Willie, but goddamn, he could steal bases. He could run like hell, and he didn't even look like he was running. I'll be you in a footrace, Hank would have beaten Willie. But he didn't run like Willie. Willie was like Clemente -- when he ran it looked like he was coming apart at the seams. It was hard to eplain with Henry, but he could hit full speed in three steps and look like he wasn't even running. -- Eddie Mathews.

Stupid Mariners

2008-06-20T09:22:00.001-07:00

Look, as a Cubs fan, I can tell you that promoting Jim Riggleman to be your manager will do absolutely nothing for you. In fact, I'm sure that just having him on the staff in the first place is a bad idea and that he's probably the sole reason you all have such a shitty record. Enjoy wall0wing in your own idiocy, Seattle.

NL Ball

2008-06-19T09:34:00.000-07:00

I know that Malach doesn't like NL ball, but that is because he's an uneducated fool. I, for one, love NL ball. I hate the DH, I think it's bad for the game. It's part of an overall problem with the game, an emphasis on homeruns instead of hitting.
What I like about the NL is that you still get to see bunts. There is nothing better, in my mind, than a well-executed bunt. In the AL, you almost never get to see a bunt. Why? Too much emphasis on swinging for the fences. While seeing a pitcher bat may be boring to some, Zambrano is one of the best hitters in the league. If he moved to the outfield, he'd hit forty a season easy (he pinch-hits fairly often). He'd probably hit .300, too. I know that most hitters stink, but I blame the managers. If the managers would make pitchers spend more time hitting, you'd see better hitting from the nine spot, like you did with the Braves in the 90s; Maddux, Glavine, and Smoltz were all very, very good hitters.
Another thing I like about not having the DH is that teams steal bases. I love base-stealing, there's a lot to it. There are pickoffs, attempts by the 1B to hold the runner, and there is timing. It's a fun battle to watch that is, with few exceptions, almost entirely restrained to the NL (unless Rickey Henderson is on a team). The BoSox this year are a true exception to the "big ball" of the AL as they are playing a more NL "small ball" style, but have a good enough lineup to mix both styles and still hit for power.
I also don't like how the AL keeps incomplete ball players, guys who don't respect all parts of the game, around. Man, I tell you, you couldn't keep a lot of the old-timers off the field. No sir, they would demand to be out there. Why? Because that's part of the game. Sitting on your ass for nine innings and occasionally getting up to hit just isn't baseball. If you can't play a position, then maybe you don't belong in baseball. But I know the game changes and that this is my weakest argument, which is why I buried it in the post.
Finally, the DH has caused too many AL pitchers to head-hunt. Guys like Clemens and Pedro are the best examples. But when they got to the NL and had to face retaliation, they didn't throw at heads. It keeps the pitchers honest, it keeps the game fair. Pitchers don't get to take it easy and act tough when they aren't tough and are afraid to face retaliation. In the NL, they know that if they throw at someone, they will have to face the consequences, and that's why they don't as often in the NL.
It's a great style of play.

Pride

2008-06-18T07:45:00.000-07:00

What a game. I am not ready to write a whole blog on the Championship, so I leave you with the picture. This epitomizes this Celtics team: Pride, Family, History. Look at this picture; you got Eddie House's kid who was at just about every game, an unofficial mascot and motivator, as well as other kids, and wives (Pierce, Perkins, Powe, and Garnet all became Dads this year). You got Bill Russell, Tommy Heinson, and John Havelichick(number 17, 17th Banner, on June 17th). The only thing missing is Red Auerbach smoking a cigar . . .

I am Malach, and I thought KG's head was going explode after the game.

A day the will live in infamy!

2008-06-17T11:25:00.000-07:00

Shocking!
I actually agree with Hank Steinbrenner . . . I hate NL baseball! I don't want to see pitcher bat. I hate to see their feeble attempts at swings, their chances of injuries increasing, and killing rallies. What is fun about an automatic out at least 3 times a game? Unless you there for the unintentionally comedy, or the occasional pitcher hit, it serves not purpose. Ok, it is kind of funny to watch Bartolo Colon's fat ass swing a bat once, but man, I can see that in my Softball League.

Bring the DH to the National League, it is time. Stupid baseball purist, the DH is an awesome rule and makes the game much more fun? The pitchers batting rule stretches back to the 1800's. Hey we changed a bunch of things from back then. The height of the mound, the fly over the fence automatic out, better gloves, better cleats, better training regimes, steroids. One NL fan give me one good reason pitchers should continue to bat. I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT!

Don't whine about strategy, I could care less about the double switch. Give them the best chance to win, that is with the DH. Do it now, do it before there is instant replay!

Now for a little experiment, I want to see if I get followed.

Militant Christians who bomb abortions clinics are not following Christ's teaching and going right to Hell!

Scott Peterson is sick murderer.

I am Malach and I am being stalked by the internet crazies.

ODDS AND ENDS

2008-06-14T03:39:00.000-07:00

Odd that everyone seems to be surprised that Ray Allen is playing so well in this series. Ray has made a hall of fame living lighting up western conference lack of defense. He has done just that his entire career. He knows the Laker's lack of defense better than anybody on the Celtics and that includes the coaching staff. Allen should be the MVP of the series His play has been nothing less than spectacular. Unfortunately for Ray, Paul Pierce will get that honor. Paul has outplayed Kobe so far and is the emotional leader of the Celts. Those two things alone will win him the honor.

Odd that the Celtic's are still learning how to play playoff basket ball and they are already one win away from their goal. The have grown in every series and become a better team each step of the way. They learned the need for intensity in every game during opening to rounds. They learned all about taking care of their business on the road against Detroit. They learned that the Laker's will fold under pressure if they keep applying pressure and that includes Kobe and the coach. They now know that they are truly the best team in the NBA. Perhaps the media will realise that now. The band wagon is going to be awfully crowed when this is all over.

In the end the Big Three will have their collective championship. Doc Rivers will get the recognition he truly deserves. Same for Ainge. I truly think there will be more championships in the Celtic's future. Veterans looking for that elusive ring will be heading East not West to acquire that ring. Oh yeah the rest of the basketball world will be still looking for the next "Michael" cause Kobe ain't it(to many character flaws). In the End Paul Pierce gets his jersey in the rafters and a bust in the Hall of Fame.

Our controversial game

2008-06-12T12:22:00.000-07:00

KMP Softball update
So, those that follow my blog, might already know we have a game from Monday under protest. Now, Malach wasn't at the game, instead he was sweltering in a Elementary School Gym for his son's Kindergarten Graduation.

So, here's what occurred. We were playing the Isotopes, a team we are very competitive with (currently they are in 3rd, we are in 1st). We were the home team, went into the bottom of the 7th (we play 7) tied in the last inning. Let's set the scene. 2 out, Justin is on first, our best hitter, and our left power hitter is up. He hits a rocket of a shot down the right field line; the right fielder was for some reason playing 30' off the line. The hit, went past the foul pole and rolled, Justin is already heading home, Darren just rounded 2nd and is headed for 3rd, when the manager of the other team calls a ground rule double, which of course freezes everything. The hit was hit so hard, it went over the asphalt path about 300' out and continued rolling.

Well, we have never had any type of hitting ground rule there, so the opposing manager is immediately questioned about it (remember it is our home field, with our ground rules). He states, that during the Championship last year, an umpire (the only time we use umpires in the playoffs, another story) called that same type of hit a ground rule double. Darren, who was the acting manager, argued a bit, but since he is not the true manager agreed to abide by that rule we had never heard of, and if we lost the game, he would protest. Needless to say the next batter pops out, and the Isotopes go on to win in 8th.

Of course, the game in now under protest. I want the win, which we should have and Malach has pulled out all the stops. Here is a satellite image of Livesey Field where we play, with highlighted boundaries.

As you can see, the path crosses into Fair territory and about 300' out, in addition, the path does not make a good out-of-play/ground rule boundary as it runs pretty much parallel to the field. Theoretically, one could hit a 500' shot and it would still be called a ground rule double? In addition, in left field, approximately 350' away, there is a skate park, and we have never called a ground rule double for that either (even when it was easier to do with metal bats). I also argued, that we play in a field in Westport, which does have hitting ground rules. Here is a satellite image of that field.

As you can see, the field in surrounded by woods, and is kind of in the middle of the woods (remind to tell you about all the animal encounters there; yeah it is very "If you build it they will come"). In deep right field, approximately 300' away, if it rolls into the woods, it is a ground rule triple (in the air a home run). So, with that being said, if the hit at Livesey is going to be anything it would have to be a ground rule triple, right, which means we still win.

Of course there are a lot more debates/arguments to this, including playing under rules one team does not know about; my batter adjusting his swing based on ground rules; and that we have been playing there for 8 years, more than 120 games and have never once called any type of ground rule there.

I will keep you updated with the goings on with this game.

I am Malach, and I should of been a lawyer.

Soriano

2008-06-12T04:58:00.000-07:00

Alfonso Soriano gets hurt in a Cubs win last night and it looks like he's going to be gone for about 6 weeks. This should have me horribly depressed, but I'm really not that worried. The Cubs can just call up Hoffpauir from AAA and use him, Edmonds, and Reed Johnson as a platoon for LF and CF. Hoffpauir was hitting real well before he got sent down and, even when he wasn't getting hits, he was having good at-bats. The Cubs have also played well without Soriano in the past. Lee will need to pick it up, though, to keep things going for the team (although he's been hitting in most games of late and has been going either 1-3 or 1-4 with an RBI).
I'm still a little nervous about the pitching, but Dempster's complete game (only 117 pitches or so) last night helps to calm me down. Lily also pitched well the night before (6.2/3 and 3 ER). However, the Cubs need one more starter to get dominant and really take it to another level. I've heard rumors about snagging Sabathia, but I don't know, we'll see.

Eighty Million Dollars a Game

2008-06-10T05:30:00.000-07:00

No, that's not Kobe Bryant's paycheck. That is the estimated NET revenue the NBA stands to make off of every game in the Finals. As we know, either team needs four games to win. The least amount of games that can be played. This is called a sweep. The maximum amount of games they can play is seven, hence the term 'best out of seven'.

Well, I coined it here first. Any decent seven game series is now called a 'jackpot'. If the Celtics and Lakers go to seven games, they are going for a 'jackpot'.

It's appropriate in three ways.

1. NBA makes close to a billion dollars off of the series.
2. It's anyone's game to win.
3. It's the BIG PAYOFF!

Jackpot.

The sweep is unlikely. The 'jackpot' is most likely the outcome. That seems to be a contradiction, BUT, every jackpot has a guaranteed payout eventually. Only one can win.

Jackpot.

The series so far is going according to form. Boston held the fort at home (just like we did to those tinny British), now we go to LA to see who IS the better team. If LA wins three in LA, we're back to square one and nobody knows. If Boston wins one or more... HAHA LALAs!

LA will win all three. The Celtics will win the next one and then Game Seven in Boston.

Either way, Jackpot. For the NBA.

The Math Says The Lakers can not win

2008-06-08T06:24:00.000-07:00

A basketball game has 48 minutes spread into 4 quarters. Each quarter has 12 minutes which equates to 720 seconds. By rule each team can only possess the ball for 24 seconds before the ball must hit the rim or the ball is turned over to the other team and their 24 second possession begins. This establishes a minimum number of times each team must touch and possess the basketball per quarter. That number is 15(720sec/24sec/2teams=15 possessions). The Celtics would like to play at that pace and the Lakers would like the pace at least twice as fast. The reality is that the pace will fall somewhere in between. Offensive rebounds increases each teams number of possessions. Turnover do the same thing. Shooting fouls add an untimed possesion for the shooting team .
The ideal situation for the Lakers is to possess the ball 120 times and shoot 45% . That would give them 108 points(120x.45=54x2=108). I think we would all agree if the Lakers score 108 points the will beat the Celtics. Their problem is the can not force the Celtics to play at that pace.
The Celtics would like to keep the Lakers possessions down to about 90 for the game. That would hold their score down to about 81 points(90x.45=40.5x2=81). I think we would all agree the Lakers can not beat the Celtics if they only score 81 points.
The issue then becomes who can enforce their will on their opponent. It is pretty simple. Defensive will is easier to impose than offensive will. The Celtics are the best defensive team in basketball. The Lakers need to run the offense in 12 to 14 seconds. They can do this when playing against the teams in the west. They can not against this Celtic team. These Celtics force their opponents to use 20 to 22 seconds on each possession and that results in bad shoots as the 24 second clock is about to expire. It is almost impossible to maintain a 45% shooting percentage when you are launching desperation shoots as that clock runs out. These Celtics are a superior rebounding team than these(or just about any NBA team) Lakers ever hoped to be. The fewer rebounds the fewer possessions the lower the score the lower the chances the Lakers have of winning.
Look at Thursday's box score it is text book. Celtics shot 32/76 42.1% Lakers 32/77 41.6%. Advantage Celtics. Three point shooting Celtics 6/19 31.6% Lakers 3/14 21.4% Advantage Celtics. Foul shooting Celtics 28/35 80%. Lakers 21/28 75%. Again advantge Celtics. Celtics rebounding 46 total 10 offensive Lakers 33 total 7 offensive. Once again advantage Celtics. When you win all the important rebounding stat the rest will normally fall in line. That is exactly what happened on Thursday.
The Lakers will have to impose their offensive will on the Celtics 4 times. Can they do that? I do not think so. The Celtics need to impose their defensive will 3 times. Can they do that? I think so. The numbers say that they will.

People Who Hate Sports

2008-06-07T09:19:00.000-07:00

This post doesn't apply to people who think that watching sports on tv is boring, just to people who hate all sports entirely.

People who hate sports . . .
You know the people that I'm talking about. They consider themselves to be intellectuals, avant-garde, and better than the interests of the simple man. They sit around at coffee-houses and read classic literature while decrying people who read books for entertainment as opposed to intellectual stimulation. They wear "spectacles" instead of glasses and attending art shows and poetry readings.
Well I have one thing to say to those people, FUCK YOU.
You aren't any better than anyone else. You're probably just some post-modern idiot who lacks even the most basic level of creativity or artistic ability and make up for it by trying to be weird in order to draw attention to how pathetic you really are. You surround yourself with other weridos in an attempt to make yourself feel better about being a total loser.
Sure, sports may be the opiate of the masses, but sports are entertaining. It is fun to watch sports, and it is fun to play sports. You may think that football is just televised brutality that leads to a desensitized America, but that is ridiculous. What leads to a desensitized America is not sports, but uncontrollable levels of crime in communities and bad parenting. Those are the problem, not sports.
And you know what? Sports is more fun than looking at someone who thinks that shitting in a bucket and calling it "performance art".

Hear me now and believe me later

2008-06-05T17:52:00.000-07:00

CELTICS IN 6

Excitment

2008-06-05T04:58:00.000-07:00

I haven't been able to say this in a long, long while, but I'm actually excited about the NBA finals. You have two excellent teams for the first time since probably the Jazz and the Bulls matched off. Don't get me wrong, I loved seeing those Spurs teams play and win, but they never had a matchup quite like this one. I'm just going to sit back and watch this one.

The Upcoming Storm

2008-06-04T20:03:00.000-07:00

C. Morris sent me an email, which he intends to clean up which exposes the 'Mixed Martial Arts' fraud.

I read it and I'm not sure I've got it right but, aparently, there's a reason this is a sport and not really effective in a real fight.

There where a few caveats atbout UFC 1 through 4, which he demonstrates, at least verbally, that ground fighting is a last ditch effort, used as a nice trick by the Gracie clan in the first few years, but that anyone who is willing to take a fight to the ground will end up on the ground unconscious, unless a mistake is made.

I'm afraid his arguements, based on a system designed by a few real fighters in the local area and beyond, are quite compelling.

In short, MMA might be dressed up pro wrestling.

Stay tuned.

NBA Finals Preview

2008-06-03T06:49:00.000-07:00

The Depth Charts:

Los Angeles Lakers

Point Guard
Derek Fisher (!)
Jordan Farmar
Shooting Guard
Kobe Bryant (!!!)
Sasha Vujacic
Coby Karl (?)
Small Forward
Lamar Odom
Luke Walton
Ira Newble
Trevor Ariza
Power Forward
Vladimir Radmanovic
Ronny Turiaf
Center
Pau Gasol (!)
DJ Mbenga
Andrew Bynum (out)
Chris Mihm (?)

The Boston Celtics

Point Guard
Rajon Rondo (!)
Sam Cassell
Gabe Pruitt (out)
Shooting Guard
Ray Allen (!)
Eddie House
Tony Allen (out)
Small Forward
Paul Pierce (!!)
James Posey
Power Forward
Kevin Garnett (!!!)
Leon Powe
Brian Scalabrine
P.J. Brown
Center
Kendrick Perkins
Glen Davis
Scot Pollard (out)

Notes:

Boston had the best defense in almost every category during the regular season.

LA has the best scorer in the NBA and he is capable of winning at least one game on his own.

Paul Pierce is at his statistical best against the Lakers.

Pau Gasol has great range and speed, but horrible defense.

Lamar Odom cannot guard Kevin Garnett.

Vladi Radmanovic has great range and speed but cannot guard Paul Pierce.

The respective bench players are a weird matchup. There's bad matchups all over the place depending on the lineup the coaches go with.

Phil Jackson is a great coach.

Doc Rivers is a coach.

The Morris Wildcard: Can Kendrick Perkins outscore Pau Gasol? Probably not. But he will cause a rebounding nightmare for LA's bigmen? Yup. With Leon Powe and Glen Davis providing 12 fouls to give and P.J. Brown's veteran leadership, it might be a 4 guys versus 1 Gasol deal. That's a poison pill for either team and I don't like to guess which strategy will succeed.

The Least Interesting Matchup: Kobe versus anyone. Kobe will score 40 a night. Kobe will put up a decent defense on the inferior Ray Allen. Fun to watch for LA fans, but not fun to analyze. No drama.

The Skinny: Quit your job, stay up late, hide the women and the children and take the phone off the hook. This is the best championship matchup in any sport during the last two decades. This is like one of those hypothetical games people make up all the time. This is that 'what if' game that drunk guys in bars argue about except it's actually going to happen. If you have a pulse and can understand English, you will see a series that will give you chills, sweats, the runs and a headache. It's like a fun version of the flu. You cannot miss it. I don't care what time you have to go to bed. TIVO it or suck it up.

Prediction: Anyone who claims to know who will win is either stupid or works for ESPN (which values stupid above all other qualities in their on air personalities). Throw out the Vegas stuff. It could go 4, 5, 6, or 7 games and either team could win it in a sweep or a game seven miracle. This series has no solid logic, the teams have no history since LA aquired Pau Gasol, and it's LA Boston, a rivalry so intense and unpredictable (especially with the 2-3-2 format) that even the creators of LOST are backing away in fear. David Lynch must be directing.

Opinion: It has to go seven games or several thousand people will end up jumping off of their nearest high rise. Boston makes a better story if they win. The nation (outside of New England and any sane woman who hates aquitted rapists) wants LA to win because of the Boston Triangle (Sox, Patriots, Celtics). God has granted my final sports wish. I will finally know if He beat up his people for kicks, or is a kind and loving God. Go Celtics.

The World Is Ending

2008-06-03T05:28:00.000-07:00

The Cubs are 37-21 and the best team in the MLB right now (by record, not sure about best overall). I'm trying not to think about it, because it's too much to handle intellectually.

Umpires

2008-06-02T12:09:00.000-07:00

I've about had it with MLB umpires. They call fairly terrible strike zones, miss home runs, are reluctant to talk to other umpires to get calls right, all while trying to stop players and managers from engaging in the historic right to argue a call. I don't necessarily have a problem with MLB taking arguing out of the game, but I don't really like the way umpires go about dealing with an upset player or manager.
I was recently watching a Cubs game where Mark DeRosa fairly pointed out that the umpire was being very inconsistent in calling low strikes which forced batters to swing at pitches they normally wouldn't were it not for the umpire's idiocy. DeRosa just cussed and yelled something and then turned away. The umpire, though, tried to show DeRosa up and got in his face and tried to keep the argument going. This is a common trend among umpires. I've seen umpires walk players who said something about the strike zone back to the dugout as if threatening to beat the player up if another word is spoken and Bob Brenly got tossed because he refused to put his hands down after the umpire told him to (Brenly had them to show his disgust with a call).
Now, the reason that the umpires want players and managers to stop arguing is because umpires think that it shows a lack of respect for the umpires. Well, that's a two-way street. If you yell and carry on back at the player or manager, you're being just as disrespectful. You may think that you are justified in responding in the same childish fashion that the manager is, but you are not. No, MLB umpires, two wrongs do not make a right. I think I recall being told several times that the bigger man just walks away. That's what the refs in the NFL do, they let the players say their piece and move on. In the NBA, the refs are much better about explaining calls to the players and the managers.
The MLB umpires should follow that course and teach umpires to try and be patient and not to yell back. There is nothing wrong with arguing a call, but it should be done respectfully. If it isn't, the umpire can simply say that unless the player or manager acts with the proper degree of respect, he will refuse to talk and tell the manager or umpire to go sit down (I've seen this done several times and it works pretty well). If the player or manager continues to act outrageously, then toss him. But don't act all bush league and go out of your way to show people up.
COME ON!!!

All hail the Fatties

2008-06-02T08:18:00.001-07:00

Bartolo Colon, welcome to Red Sox Nation!
Now that Colon is in the starting rotation, I think the Red Sox are officially the fattest team in baseball. Between Schilling, Ortiz, and Colon, you got pounds of flesh. Hopefully they will make a mid season trade for CC Sabathia, or Prince Fielder to make this team complete. John Henry you do Mo Vaughn proud. Go Sox!

Kimbo Slice/Uriah Faber
So, we all got see Kimbo ground game get exposed on the Elite XC show Saturday. Now there is some talk that he will be fighting Brett Rodgers, who can bang as hard as Kimbo, but is a much more complete fighter. Kimbo might be too old now to get good enough to fight some of the top fighters in MMA. Can you imagine this guy trying to take on some of the UFC heavyweights? Kimbo is turning into a modern day Tank Abbot.

Also, what was up with the dancers? Got a little to WWE there Elite XC.

On the other hand, now that Uriah Faber has fought a great fighter like Jens Pulver, in a real war, I don't think that there is anyone who will beat him in that weight class. Maybe the most complete fighter in the world right now. . . I would love to see him fight BJ Penn, either BJ dropping weight or Faber going up. Faber might be at that point where Andersen Silva is having to move up weight to find good opponents.

Celtics/Lakers
Malach is going out on a limb here and taking the Celtics in 6 or 7. Yes, the world and the "experts" think I am crazy. Yes, Kobe Bryant in the greatest rapist player since Michael Jordan, but I will tell you why. The Lakers do not match up well vs. the Celtics. Who is supposed to go toe to toe with Garnet, Allen, Pierce? Pierce should have a field day, being covered by Odom, and watch for Rondo vs. Fisher, trust me on this one, Fisher cannot defend Rondo's penetration. Perkins will cover Gasol, and beat him around, Gasoll is not a physical player. Radmanovic is going to cover Garnet? No? How about Gasol? The Lakers don't have enough defense to stop the Celtics attack.

Unlike many sports, the cliche that defense wins championships is more true in basketball that maybe any other sport. I think the most telling stat is the Lakers are giving up 101 points per game in the playoffs, while the Celtics are only giving up 89. The key is going to be the 2 - 3 - 2 format, almost forcing the Celtics to win the first two at home.

I can't wait.

HEY NBA!
What the Hell happened to 1PM and 6PM games? Aren't you the ones desperate for expanded viewership? How are kids supposed to watch these 9:00PM starts? How are you supposed to bring in the young generation of basketball fans? What, you expect them as teenagers to turn to you after years of afternoon Football, Baseball, and even NASCAR? Get your head out of your ass David Stern! And while you at it, do something about the most incosistent officiating in all of sports! It's kind of scary when I agree with Mark Cuban and Rasheed Wallace in the same 10 day time span.

Speaking of Rasheed, is there anyone out there beside Kimbo Slice who would want to meet him in a back alley?

Is Anyone Else Tired of This?

2008-06-01T10:21:00.000-07:00

If you are not a sports fan, please go read some other crappy blog.

No welcome post. Let's get right to it. ESPN is horrible. Ever since ABC bought the Ultimate Sports Network (go on, have a look), the personalities have become caricatures of typical sports stereotypes. I won't even get into the whole ethnic issue, but we can all agree that these employees are told to stick to the colored type on the monitor, shuffle when whipped, and talk about their mama's lasagna on cue. I'm shocked they don't have a submisive sexy asian anchor and a French guy with a beret and a wet spot on his fly.

It's even worse than that, though. Try getting anything but a cliche or some quote ripped from some local newspaper from these shills. Look. Play the highlights you fat fuck and tell me who won the game. I don't care if you sound like Curly, Shemp or a white Spike Lee impersonator, just let me see what the fuck happened and keep your bone headed opinion to yourself.

Oh, and please stop calling these network rejects 'analysts' because they can read a teleprompter and spew out hack job sports lingo with no substance. If I want to listen to someone break a game down, I'll call my fucking Dad. He can tell you what pitch Bob Stanley threw in 1983 in the third with three men on, two outs at the end of a day night double header in June and why the whole fucking game went to hell because the fucking guy never should have been brought in in a high pressure situation when the fans already wanted to kill him and his family very slowly in front of the rest of the team to set an example.

Maybe Stanley wasn't on the team at that point. I don't know. But if he was, Dad would know and I'd ask him about it.

And the newspapers. They make shit up these days.

The websites have the same 8 stories for five days, twenty four hours a day.

The radio has fat guys that failed in television or broadcasting games who shout at callers no matter what the conversation is and all I want is some freaking sports!

So, in order to combat this nonsense, a few of the guys and me are going to write some sports stuff for you to ponder. We will try and leave our Boston Hats off and give you unbaised opinions, like the fact that LeBron James is the most talented disappointment in the NBA since Ralph Sampson (but maybe it's not his fault entirely because he was playing with Wally Kzrbyaaak), or like the fact that when we used to chant 'Yankees Suck' it was due to insecurity, but now it's actually true, but you can't blame us if we get a little supportive of our home teams because no matter how good they get, the rest of you nimrods in the United States will always think Wilt Chamberlain was better than Bill Russel and NO we are NOT going to let it slide, get it?

So, okay. First item up for pondering is why all od ESPN's experts pick the Lakers to beat the Celtics in the NBA Finals?

1. Hating Boston Teams = Good Ratings
2. No one there can do simple math like Kobe + Odom + Gasol Bill Simmons please? Here's a Boston turncoat to trump Benedict Arnold. Just read a part of this and then this.

Bill, you fucking fake assed LA sellout. This is enough to make me wish Whitey Bulger would come back to town for a week and come eat dinner with your family in that crappy 3 bedroom shack you paid $590,000 for in the 'other part' of Los Angeles. You're not a sports writer. Your not a sports fan. You're a fucking clown and a sellout and have less talent than Buddy Thomas from the New Bedford Standard Times. There's a reason you headline 'Page Two' of ESPN's website, which is the trash pile for rejected articles from their magazine, which I hear is going under soon.

So, anyways. I hope most of you sports fans will join us here at the Unpaid Sports Writers Blog for more unbaised reporting headed insight.